


Realizing your Love

by Storylover0513



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Heartbreak, Romance, Smut, smut in chapter 5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-08
Updated: 2017-10-08
Packaged: 2018-12-12 14:28:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11738943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Storylover0513/pseuds/Storylover0513
Summary: A different intake on 1x09 where Barry confessed his feelings for Iris.





	1. Chapter 1

"Hey! Just in time, I'm almost done," Iris says sighing "are there awards for tree trimming because this is award winning."

Barry walks over to her location and takes a deep breath. "Are you okay, Barr?" Iris asks concern in her eyes. Barry takes yet another deep breath and goes in for a hug. He closes his eyes as he says, "I love you, Iris." 

"Aww, I love you too," Iris says smiling oblivious to what Barry is pointing to.

He breaks away and nods his head for self-encouragement. "When we were kids, I've loved you before I even knew what the word love meant. And then my mom died and I had to go live with the girl I had a crush on."

As soon as he starts the sentence, Iris starts to tear up. She's too overwhelmed with the sudden confession she takes a seat on the couch beside her. Barry sits down beside her.

"There's so many times that I've wanted to tell you. Junior prom, when I went away from college, when I came back from college. Nights that we stayed up talking..all the birthdays all the Christmas', but I-I never did. I just I kept it in. After I lost my mom and my dad I was afraid that if you didn't feel the same way I would lose you too," Barry says looking into her eyes, "that's the irony..I'm so scared of loosing you that I did."

Tears start to fall. "I know we've had our whole lives to tell you this and you're with Eddie now and I know that and I know my timing couldn't be any worse but I just..I couldn't lie to you anymore." Iris shakes her head causing Barry to blurt out, "I'm sorry." Iris looks away from him, and he sighs, knowing that his fantasies would never come true. He starts to get up to leave but Iris stops him, grabbing his arm. He look at her, confused. "Barry, I have something to tell you too," she says sighing.

"I've loved you. I still love you, but I'm with Eddie now and yes, you're right the timing couldn't be any worse."

"You're with Eddie, I get that. I just had to tell you, I couldn't-"

"You couldn't lie to me anymore, I get it. But, I still love you Barry. Even if we get with other people, I'll still love you. I didn't know it then but I've loved you ever since we were 11. When you came home after seeing your Mom cry, Barry, you were in shock. You had tears in your eyes but no words would come out. We went to bed that evening and I heard crying. I walked downstairs, and it was you. Crying because your mother was murdered. I sat on the couch next to me and you slowly placed your head on my lap and you cried. But I held you, I was there for you. T-that was the night we fell in love."

Barry takes a hand and rubs his neck, "This isn't happening, it's all a dream."

"No, Barry, believe me, I'm telling the truth. As much as I want to be with you now, I'm with Eddie."

"Can I kiss you, Iris?"

"Kiss me? But, I-," Iris starts before Barry's lips crash into hers. Her eyes are still wide when he backs away, "I'm sorry, I know that was wrong. I just wanted to kiss you once before you go see Eddie."

He's surprised when her lips meet hers. It's tense at first but then they position themselves closer. Barry manages to get Iris on her lap. She breaks away, "Barry, we shouldn't."

"You're right we shouldn't," Barry says moving away so Iris can get off of him. "But, you're lips feel so good," Iris mutters. Barry looks at her with wide eyes. "Iris?"

"I-, sorry Barry, I should probably go see Eddie."

"Right, yeah. This won't affect our friendship, right?"

'Yeah, of course not. Bye, Barry," Iris says standing on her toes to give Barry a quick peck to his cheeks.

"Bye, Iris," he manages to say after Iris closes the door leaving him in silence. He plops onto the couch and sighs. "This Christmas was the best one yet," he says smiling to himself.


	2. Just You and Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Wests have dinner including a movie night afterward, but will Barry and Iris figure out this tension between them?

"Thanks again for dinner," Eddie says thanking Joe. 

Joe smiles and replies, "Again, Eddie. It's what we do no problem. Are you going to be staying for movie night?"

"Oh, sorry, can't. I have cases to look over for the rest of the night, maybe next time?"

"That's okay, Eddie. Take it easy now," Joe says.

Barry sighs a tone of relief. He's still washed up about what happened during Christmas. Iris seems like she forgot all about it, giving Eddie a small kiss goodbye. He grimaces. "Did that kiss not mean anything to you?!" he says to himself. He's pissed for sure. She admitted her feelings for her but Eddie. Detective 'Pretty Boy'. What kind of name was that!? He was seething in fact. "You okay, Barr," Iris asks looking into his eyes reading his expression. 

He's awaken by her touch, he looks at her and forces a smile, "Yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking," he says frowning right after. "If you're not fine you can talk to me, we're besties right?" Iris says struggling to say 'besties'. She's hurting too. Being with Eddie is much harder now with what happened at Christmas. Sex is dull, kisses are quick, everything is bland. But when she's around Barry it's like seeing colors for the first time. I'm sure he's noticed it too. "You picked a good movie?" Iris asks hoping to break the silence. "I hope I did."

"Good, I'll go get the snacks ready."

Joe's watching them, struggling to hold in a mount of giggles. Barry glances at him giving him a what's-so-funny-look. "I've watched you two be in love since you were 11. You two are taking too long," Joe says landing a firm grasp on his 'son's' shoulder his face turning serious. "One day, Iris is going to wake up feeling like she married the wrong man. And that man is Eddie. I don't want that for her, pick up the pace, Barry. Go talk to her."

Barry nods his head and mutters a thanks before walking into the kitchen. "Need any help?" Barry asks.

"Yes. Could you please take the drinks over to the coffee table?"

"Sure," he says lifting the refreshments and walking over to the livingroom. Joe is setting up the movie. 

Iris is soon over with snacks. Right after she arranges the snacks in a orderly fashiom a knock comes from the door. "That must be Caitlin and Cisco. I thought I would invite them over," Barry says walking over to the door. "The more the merrier!" Iris says smiling. 

"Hey man!" Barry says doing some kind of handshake before letting him in. "Hey, Caitlin," he says giving her a hug. "Barry," Caitlin says into the hug. The two guests make themselves comfortable choosing their seats. The seats are taken so Barry positions himself on the floor. Iris waves him over to sit with him on the huge beanbag. "C'mere Barr," she says smiling that smile. 

He walks over and positions himself next to her. "Iris..we need to talk."

She rolls her eyes, "After the movie."

"After the movie it is," Barry says quieting himself. 

After the movie everyone leaves, Joe's excuse, "Singh just called me, gotta head over to the station." 

Barry is standing awkwardly rubbing his neck and Iris is up and about cleaning. "Iris I know it's been awkward between us but that kiss wasn't something to forget!"

"Barry..I know what but I'm dating someone and I love him."

"Do you?"

Iris looks hurt, "What does that mean?"

"It means do you love him or do you love me. Talk about mixed messages."

"Barry, you can't be serious right now. You're asking me to choose between you two?"

"I guess I am," he says crossing his arms.

"I can't believe your right now! I'm going to head home. I think you've done enough. If you're saying that I should be with you instead of Eddie you just made one hell of a choice Barry Allen."

"Wait, no. Iris! Please, I'm sorry!" he says chasing after her grabbing her wrist.

 

"Let go of me," she says anger in her voice.

"Iris, I'm sorry I got caught up in the moment. I didn't-"

"That's just the thing Barr. I'm scared of being caught up in the moment."

"Then..we'll take it slow. Slow and steady, I won't rush you."

"Barry, I-"

"Iris please..I love you."

"Barry I need to go."

"I understand," he says letting go of her.

"Goodnight Barry," she says turning away from him trying to hide the tears.

"Night, Iris," he says closing the door as she walks away.

After her car pulls away he kicks the nearest wall yelling, "Fuck!" he grabs his foot in pain. "Good job, Barry. An opportunity is given but you throw it away, like always!" he says to himself. He plops down on the couch telling himself, "What did I do?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys asked for it and here it is. If y'all wondering where that college AU is..I'll probably start writing later in the month.


	3. Missed Calls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry is trying to get Iris back but she isn't in the mood.

**7:21 A.M.**

 

Another call from Barry. Altogether, 12 calls since they last fought. Iris has done pretty well evading Barry, only heading to Joe's desk when she needs something and never heading upstairs under any circumstances. She barely steps foot inside the house, only to check on Joe if he needs anything. She's been attempting to get herself closer to Eddie but it hasn't been working well. Barry is always on her mind. She once spotted him having a little breakfast date with one of the colleagues that he befriended at S.T.A.R Laboratories.

 

She gets up and heads for her closet picking out her clothes for the day. She takes a shower and drinks her daily coffee when a knock tears at her door. Eddie isn't around so she thinks he's already arrived at work. The only person who would knock at her door at this time is Barry. Barry, she can't let him see her like this, it hasn't been easy without her best-friend. She tiptoes away from the door and sits on the couch and waits for him to pass. He leaves finally after 5 minutes of straight up knocking non-stop. He must have a good reason for knocking that long because his knuckles were going to be sore by the end of the day unless he had some special healing powers. 

 

She chuckles to herself, "Healing powers? What are you doing Iris? Barry wasn't affected by the particle accelerator." She heads over to CCPN and is assigned the usual workload. She gets a text from Dad, it says, "Barry told me what happened between you two, wanna talk about it over lunch?"

"I don't really think there's much to talk about."

"Oh come on, don't act like I don't see how you look at that boy."

"Dad, I'm dating Eddie and I'm perfectly happy with him. Are you here to talk some sense into me or ruin my relationship with Eddie."

"What relationship?"

"Dad! I can't believe you right now."

"Just meet me at Jitters around 12:30, I'll be off my break around then."

 

The time comes to meet up with her father and she came a bit early just so she could order a small batch of brownies without her father telling her off. She watches the door, hoping for her father to come through the doors, she's quite eager to hear what he has to say. "Iris, hey!" Joe says giving her daughter a hug before sitting across from her.

"Hey, Daddy. Everything been going okay at home?"

"It's kinda been quiet ever since you left to live with Eddie. Barry's been quite bored without you around," he says chortling.

She grimaces and forces a smile, 'poor Barry' she wants to think but she's still trying to forget about what happened. "So, about this Barry situation," Joe says taking a sip of the coffee he ordered without her noticing. "Yeah, about that..I think I was too harsh on him," Iris says frowning.

"Well, he has shut himself off from everyone else," Joe says nodding his head, "Iris, I don't want this for you. One day you're going to wake up married and that love and passion you thought you felt for that person won't be there. You'll still be in love with Barry and I don't want that for you or the lucky guy."

"Dad, I-"

"Iris, now I know you want to defend Eddie and yourself but what does your heart tell you. I think you love that man and you should go for him," Joe says standing up.

He's left her daughter speechless. He kisses her forehead and pays the nearest barista, heading back to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From now on, I'll only update stories on the weekend because I just started school today and it's hella chaotic. Hope y'all enjoyed this chapter, see ya! Sorry that this was chapter was short, part 2 will come out soon.


	4. I Don't Know How to Explain it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I don't know how to explain it but I feel this spark when I'm around you," Iris says looking up to him.

She's quite shocked that her father would put her on the spot like that, but of course, it's Joe, he always has a voice of reason and right now, those words were speaking to her really well. She couldn't help but think how Eddie would react if she were to supposedly break up with him to be with Barry. She wasn't that kind of woman. Here to the naked eye, she looked like she had seen someone get jumped right in front of them. It's scary how love can make you feel like you've seen the world on a whole nother level. 

 

She gets up and pays for the breakfast that Joe barely dug into, rolling her eyes at her father's wastefulness, she still loved him. She looked at her watch asserting into her mind that she needs to get her ass to work before her manager calls her for dozing off, again. It's not her fault that the world is definitely crashing onto her and she can't stop it..unless The Flash was there for her. She wonders she hasn't met with him for a while so she plans to stay at Jitters pretending to be cleaning hoping that he'd rush into the room.

 

She needed to get back to work but her mind was pulling her away, she made it to the counter anyway getting back to work just fine. The usual phrase, "Hey, welcome to Jitters, what'll you order?" spilled out of her mouth for the next 4 hours until her shift was over. She rushed to her manager's office and told him she would close up and clean the cafe. He obliged thanking her promising her he'd give her a raise. So she stayed but didn't clean as she expected she would. She was stuck up looking at the CCPN website. They were looking for writers and Iris needed the job badly, she wanted to help Eddie with the rent, she didn't want to be a burden. She'd taken classes in writing in college so she must qualify. They were taking interviews this weekend so she signed an application to meet at an appropriate time. 

 

She was just about to close her laptop when she was whooshed onto the Jitters roof. She heard his metallic voice hot against her ears. "You're applying for the CCPN, huh?"

 

She smiles then turns around to face him, "Are you stalking me, Flash," she says taking a break between the words. 

 

"Not spying, watching. I guess I'm your personal guardian angel," he says shrugging.

 

"But aren't you the savior of this town, the hope?" she asks tilting her head to a specific angle. 

 

"You're right, Ms. West. Hmm, if you do get the job maybe you should name your first article, 'The Flash, the Hope for Central City'," he says smiling, "has a nice ring to it."

 

"And if I were to, you know, get the job," Iris says inching closer, "would I gain your trust just enough to show me who's under that mask?" 

 

He steps away and looks down. "I'm afraid I can't do that, Ms. West."

 

"Why is that?" Iris asks disappointed but also curious to hear his answer. "I don't know how to explain it but I feel this spark when I'm around you," Iris says looking up to him.

 

"Well," he says looking at her again, "if I told you, it wouldn't be a secret would it?" totally ignoring what she just said.

 

"Ah, the typical excuse," Iris starts, "I promise I won't tell anybody."

 

"Your adorable puppy eyes won't do you any good this time, but I can promise you something," he says smirking. 

 

She smiles flirtatiously, "And what would that be?" she inches closer.

 

"See, Ms. West, women can easily be fooled. It was just a test and you failed, therefore I cannot trust you with my identity," he says laughing.

 

"For fucks sake! What, are you a 40-year-old man, are you afraid of showing a youngin like me your face? Do you have a crush on me and if I knew you it'd be awkward? Do I know you, Mr. Flash?"  
  


"I may be closer than you think," and as he says that he runs away leaving a streak of lightning for Iris to take a picture of.

 

"Don't think you're the only one with tricks up their sleeves," she says smirking. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah..this was long overdue. K, bye.


	5. Body Language

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Barry we need to talk," Iris says making her way to Barry's desk.

After Iris snaps the picture, she heads back to the apartment she shares with Eddie. They eat dinner in silence and go to sleep in silence. Once in bed, Eddie makes a move, putting an arm around her. Iris squirms then relaxes, trying to ignore it. She can't do this anymore. She needs to see Barry, she needs to somehow break things off with Eddie. Iris isn't known to be a heartbreaker, and she doesn't want to break Eddie's heart, but their relationship isn't going anywhere. She decides she's going to pay Barry a visit in his own habitat. 

Barry's running at top speed patrolling the city. He's still thinking about how he seduced the Iris West. His bestfriend. He feels bad. How badly he wishes he could tell her, but that's for another day. He has to keep Joe's promise. Right now, he has to protect the city. He misses her, calling her every so often but being left to the voicemail. Sometimes he calls her just for the sake of her voice. He closes his eyes and breathes, speeding to STAR Labs. Harrison is the only one there. He seems to be working on some contraption.

"Hey, Harrison," Barry says putting his suit up.

"Barry. A little late don't you think?" he asks staring at him, "you aren't visiting Ms. West again, are you?"

"No, definitely not."

"Just know, Barry. I have eyes everywhere, don't lie to me."

Barry nods his head and speeds out of the hallway. 

 

Iris wakes up extra early. She has the whole day planned out. She has first to go to her interview for investigative reporter at CCPN then visit Barry at CCPD. She sneaks out of the apartment, Eddie not having to worry where she went. She makes it to CCPN with only a few minutes late. She's lead into an office and asked a few questions, then they give her sample articiles and give her about an hour to write a little story of her own on what's going on in Central City. They let Iris know they'll email her if she got the job or not. 

Iris sighs when she exits the building. "Now, we visit, Barry," she says starting on her way.

She reaches CCPD and climbs the stairs to the lab. Barry is there, looking at something through a microscope, all his computers are on, open to databases and autotopsies of victims involved of the recent crime of the week. "Barry we need to talk," Iris says making her way to Barry's desk.

He's startled, almost jumping out of his swivel chair. When he sees her he smiles, then frowns trying to keep the feelings mutual. "Iris," he says in a mature manner.

"Barry, don't be serious with me. This," she says pointing to the both of them, "thing we got going on between us isn't necessary."

Barry raises his eyebrows. "I'm telling you I want to make up. I miss you Barry, a lot. It hurts not being able to talk to you in the morning or talk to you late at night. Please, can we start over?" Iris says walking over to where Barry's sitting. Her pleading is turning him on and he doesn't like it at all. He notices he closed the door behind her, it's making matters worse. 

"Iris," he says his breathe hot. "Barry," she says suggestively. She's right in front of him, she's somehow made her way to the other side of the desk facing him, feet away from each other. She gets off the desk, ever so slightly resting her bottom on her knees. 

"Don't think I don't see the way you sweat when I get close to you," Iris says smirking. Barry gulps, his erection hard against his pants. "Iris," he breathes, "what are you doing?"

"What am I not doing?" Iris says as she twists herself to be facing him. "How does this make you feel Barry Allen," Iris says twisting her hips to position herself right onto his core. He gasps, trying to look away, but he can't. He is in a trance, Iris West's trance. He can't tell if this is a fantasy or this is real, so he pinches himself, hard. Iris notices and smiles, "Oh, this is real," Iris says grabbing his cock through the pants, "every fucking second."

"You think you're so secretive," putting her arms around his neck, "but I know you Barry Allen." He's losing control, he does't hint the reference she just stated. Iris is smart, but is she smart enough to know he's The Flash? His hands travel to his ass and he squeezes. Iris lifts a finger and waves it side to side, Barry's eyes following. "Not so fast, Barr."

"Iris," he asks pleading, "please."

Iris kisses him silencing the blabbermouth, "We're not there yet, I still haven't spoke my mind," she smirks, "when I think about you, I feel something else, ya know? I don't feel that with Eddie, why is that?"

Barry opens his mouth to speak but he can't. "Cat got your tongue?" Iris asks moving her fingers to his zipper. Barry takes a deep breathe again. "Have you ever had fantasies about me, Allen?"

He nods his head, another drop of sweat dripping. "Oh," Iris says excitingly, "about what?"

"We were at Joe's, alone."

"Sex? Barry Allen, you're in for a ride," she says pulling down his zipper. "Shit," Barry mutters.

"Have you ever had a blow job? I wouldn't think so, you're so innocent, yet so secretive at the same time," Iris says getting to his briefs. When her hands reach his sex, he moves uncomfortably. "Iris, we can't do this. What if someone sees us..Eddie?"

"What about him?" Iris says putting him in her mouth teasing his tip with her mouth. "Fuck," Barry shouts out again.

She sucks - hard -, and Barry feels like he'll explode if she goes any longer, but he handles it, barely, to the end. When she finishes, a pop is heard through out the lab. She wipes her mouth with her arm and stands up. Barry looks mesmerized, as if he was drunk, mesmerized. "Barry. Barry!" Iris yells.

 

He wakes up, Iris is a the lab door, her distance made known to all. He's confused. "What just happned?" he tells himself. Then he notices, he has a huge tent, and Iris sees it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, sorry this was long overdue *wink wonk*, I'm just tryna get stuff done and it aint working, so hope you can cope with this.


End file.
